Da Bot Updates the Old Shotgun Meme

Sometimes, you just gotta have a little fun. I don't know what I was doing other than clicking random things when I landed on this Reddit thread about "How to shoot yourself in the foot using different programming languages" I don't know...I wasn't laughing at this list nearly as much as I remembered laughing at it 20 something years ago. So, without further ado, I turn to da bot: Me: There's an old meme about how each programming language provides a way to shoot yourself in the foot. However, when I read it, it's fairly outdated and also doesn't always accurately describe the language. Can you provide a fresh modern take on the top 50 all-time popular languages? Da Bot: Absolutely! Here's a modernized and humorous take on how you might "shoot yourself in the foot" using 50 of the most popular programming languages, blending common pitfalls, stereotypes, and recent trends: Top 50 Programming Languages and How They Let You Shoot Yourself in the Foot (2025 Edition) Python – You shoot yourself in the foot, but it's so elegant that you don't realize it until runtime. JavaScript – You shoot yourself in the foot, but it only happens if you're using == instead of ===. Or maybe it just turns your foot into undefined. Java – You write 200 lines of boilerplate just to load the gun. The JVM throws a FootNotFoundException. C – You shoot yourself in the foot, the whole OS crashes, and you blame it on user error. C++ – You shoot yourself in the foot, then the compiler shoots you for misusing templates. C# – You shoot yourself in the foot, but .NET politely logs it and shows you a GUI about safe gun handling. Go – You shoot yourself in the foot, and the compiler shrugs: "That’s how we do it here—no exceptions, no generics (well, sorta now), no crying." Rust – You tried to shoot yourself in the foot, but the borrow checker wouldn't let you. Swift – You shoot yourself in the foot, but only if the optional gun isn't nil. Kotlin – You shoot yourself in the foot, but with 30% less boilerplate than Java. TypeScript – You shoot yourself in the foot, but at least the compiler warned you ahead of time. Ruby – You shoot yourself in the foot with one line of code so beautiful it brings tears to your eyes. Then Rails reloads and shoots the other one. PHP – You shoot yourself in the foot, and it works, but later it turns out it was your kneecap. Perl – You shoot yourself in the foot, but the regex you used means no one can tell how. R – You shoot yourself in the foot and then spend 3 hours generating a ggplot of your injury. MATLAB – You shoot yourself in the foot, but only if you remembered to pay for the Gun Toolbox™. SQL – You shoot yourself in the foot and then DROP FOOT;. Shell (Bash) – You shoot yourself in the foot with rm -rf / and wonder why your terminal went silent. Assembly – You manually load the bullet into the chamber, fire the shot, and debug the foot. Haskell – You define the concept of a foot as a monad, and shooting becomes a lazy evaluation that never happens. Elixir – You shoot yourself in the foot, but the process crashes and is seamlessly restarted. Erlang – You shoot yourself in the foot, but 1,000 lightweight processes catch the bullet and keep running. Scala – You shoot yourself in the foot using a functional gun inside an object-oriented casing and then explain why it was better than Java. Dart – You shoot yourself in the foot, but Flutter makes it look beautiful on both iOS and Android. Lua – You shoot yourself in the foot, but it's embedded in a video game so no one notices. Objective-C – You shoot yourself in the foot, and the syntax bruises your eyes more than the bullet bruises your foot. VB.NET – You shoot yourself in the foot and your foot shows a message box: "An error has occurred." Fortran – You shoot yourself in the foot, but only if the dataset is from 1970 and written in ALL CAPS. COBOL – You shoot yourself in the foot, but the bank is still processing it 40 years later. F# – You shoot yourself in the foot in a purely functional way. Then explain it to no one because no one else is using F#. Julia – You shoot yourself in the foot, but it vectorizes the process for efficiency. Groovy – You shoot yourself in the foot, but it feels like Java... just looser and more "chill." Powershell – You shoot yourself in the foot and every computer on the network—remotely. Delphi (Pascal) – You shoot yourself in the foot with an elegant GUI app… in 1995. Tcl – You shoot yourself in the foot and use a GUI toolkit from 1992 to display the wound. Hack – You shoot yourself in the foot, but Facebook tells you it's a feature. Nim – You try to shoot yourself in the foot, but it compiles to C so fast you forget what language you're using. Crystal – You shoot yourself in the foot, and Ruby fans call it beautiful while C fans call it fast. Zig – You shoot yourself in the foot, but at least the build system didn't. V – You try to shoot yourself in the foot, but the gun isn’t implemented yet. Racket

May 5, 2025 - 03:15

Sometimes, you just gotta have a little fun. I don't know what I was doing other than clicking random things when I landed on this Reddit thread about "How to shoot yourself in the foot using different programming languages"

I don't know...I wasn't laughing at this list nearly as much as I remembered laughing at it 20 something years ago. So, without further ado, I turn to da bot:

Me: There's an old meme about how each programming language provides a way to shoot yourself in the foot. However, when I read it, it's fairly outdated and also doesn't always accurately describe the language. Can you provide a fresh modern take on the top 50 all-time popular languages?

Da Bot: Absolutely! Here's a modernized and humorous take on how you might "shoot yourself in the foot" using 50 of the most popular programming languages, blending common pitfalls, stereotypes, and recent trends:

Top 50 Programming Languages and How They Let You Shoot Yourself in the Foot (2025 Edition)

Python – You shoot yourself in the foot, but it's so elegant that you don't realize it until runtime.
JavaScript – You shoot yourself in the foot, but it only happens if you're using == instead of ===. Or maybe it just turns your foot into undefined.
Java – You write 200 lines of boilerplate just to load the gun. The JVM throws a FootNotFoundException.
C – You shoot yourself in the foot, the whole OS crashes, and you blame it on user error.
C++ – You shoot yourself in the foot, then the compiler shoots you for misusing templates.
C# – You shoot yourself in the foot, but .NET politely logs it and shows you a GUI about safe gun handling.
Go – You shoot yourself in the foot, and the compiler shrugs: "That’s how we do it here—no exceptions, no generics (well, sorta now), no crying."
Rust – You tried to shoot yourself in the foot, but the borrow checker wouldn't let you.
Swift – You shoot yourself in the foot, but only if the optional gun isn't nil.
Kotlin – You shoot yourself in the foot, but with 30% less boilerplate than Java.
TypeScript – You shoot yourself in the foot, but at least the compiler warned you ahead of time.
Ruby – You shoot yourself in the foot with one line of code so beautiful it brings tears to your eyes. Then Rails reloads and shoots the other one.
PHP – You shoot yourself in the foot, and it works, but later it turns out it was your kneecap.
Perl – You shoot yourself in the foot, but the regex you used means no one can tell how.
R – You shoot yourself in the foot and then spend 3 hours generating a ggplot of your injury.
MATLAB – You shoot yourself in the foot, but only if you remembered to pay for the Gun Toolbox™.
SQL – You shoot yourself in the foot and then DROP FOOT;.
Shell (Bash) – You shoot yourself in the foot with rm -rf / and wonder why your terminal went silent.
Assembly – You manually load the bullet into the chamber, fire the shot, and debug the foot.
Haskell – You define the concept of a foot as a monad, and shooting becomes a lazy evaluation that never happens.
Elixir – You shoot yourself in the foot, but the process crashes and is seamlessly restarted.
Erlang – You shoot yourself in the foot, but 1,000 lightweight processes catch the bullet and keep running.
Scala – You shoot yourself in the foot using a functional gun inside an object-oriented casing and then explain why it was better than Java.
Dart – You shoot yourself in the foot, but Flutter makes it look beautiful on both iOS and Android.
Lua – You shoot yourself in the foot, but it's embedded in a video game so no one notices.
Objective-C – You shoot yourself in the foot, and the syntax bruises your eyes more than the bullet bruises your foot.
VB.NET – You shoot yourself in the foot and your foot shows a message box: "An error has occurred."
Fortran – You shoot yourself in the foot, but only if the dataset is from 1970 and written in ALL CAPS.
COBOL – You shoot yourself in the foot, but the bank is still processing it 40 years later.
F# – You shoot yourself in the foot in a purely functional way. Then explain it to no one because no one else is using F#.
Julia – You shoot yourself in the foot, but it vectorizes the process for efficiency.
Groovy – You shoot yourself in the foot, but it feels like Java... just looser and more "chill."
Powershell – You shoot yourself in the foot and every computer on the network—remotely.
Delphi (Pascal) – You shoot yourself in the foot with an elegant GUI app… in 1995.
Tcl – You shoot yourself in the foot and use a GUI toolkit from 1992 to display the wound.
Hack – You shoot yourself in the foot, but Facebook tells you it's a feature.
Nim – You try to shoot yourself in the foot, but it compiles to C so fast you forget what language you're using.
Crystal – You shoot yourself in the foot, and Ruby fans call it beautiful while C fans call it fast.
Zig – You shoot yourself in the foot, but at least the build system didn't.
V – You try to shoot yourself in the foot, but the gun isn’t implemented yet.
Racket (Scheme) – You shoot your foot with parentheses. So many parentheses.
Smalltalk – You shoot yourself in the foot by sending a #shoot: message to your foot object.
Ada – You can't shoot yourself in the foot because the compiler prevented you from misusing the gun. But your code is now 800 lines long.
Lisp – You (shoot '(your foot)) and (enjoy 'pain).
Prolog – You declare the rules for shooting yourself in the foot, but the interpreter can’t prove it.
Clojure – You shoot yourself in the foot, but it's immutable now, so the wound is conceptual.
OCaml – You shoot yourself in the foot, but pattern match the blood spatter into a beautiful recursive function.
AWK – You shoot yourself in the foot line by line in a log file.
Haxe – You shoot yourself in the foot and then compile the same shot for 5 different platforms.
BQN / APL – You shoot your foot using a single obscure symbol, and no one else understands how.

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