I’ve Been a Dev for 4 Years and I Feel Stuck

Hey—this post is a bit different. I’m not here to teach something or show off a project. I’m here to document a phase. The in-between phase. The “I’ve grown, but I’m not sure where I’m going” phase. This is for future me—and maybe for someone else who might be feeling the same. My Journey So Far I graduated with a CS degree about 4 years ago, and I’ve been working at the same company ever since. I actually landed the job pretty easily. A friend of mine knew the CEO, recommended me, and after a super simple interview—almost entirely behavioral—I got hired. Just like that. Thing is, I didn’t even know what role I was being hired for. I assumed they’d just go off my resume where it said “Full Stack Development.” But that’s not exactly what happened. Instead, I got tossed around into different parts of the company, all under the same umbrella, but each one dealing with something new. First, it was cloud engineering and data engineering—they needed someone to manage our cloud workloads, so that’s where I started. No questions asked. Then, as the company grew and started needing internal development, I got handed dev tasks. It began with writing automations and small scripts, and over time, it just kept expanding. Eventually, I found myself building actual products. Fast forward a bit, and I’m now technically the head of development. Sounds fancy, but really, I’m leading a small team—one dev and one UI/UX designer. Throughout all this, I’ve been exposed to a lot. The company gave me space to learn by doing, and by messing up. There were no seniors above me to guide the way—I had to learn everything the hard way, on my own. That part always made me feel a little anxious, like I was constantly guessing. Imagine being fresh out of college and suddenly everyone’s looking to you to figure things out. That’s a lot to carry when you're still learning what a “real job” even feels like. But somehow, I managed. I figured things out as I went, and over time, I became one of the company’s core people. And yeah, that’s something I’m proud of. Still, the fact that I’ve only ever worked at this one company on this one long project—it sticks with me. I’ve never really had to go through a serious hiring process, or prove myself in a completely new environment. That thought lingers in the back of my head more often than I’d like. The Problem That lingering thought—what if I need to leave someday?—is what’s been messing with me. Because on paper, my experience looks static. One job, one project, no career switches, no shiny tech stacks. But I know how much I’ve grown. I know what I’ve built. I know how many problems I’ve solved under pressure. And yet, I can’t help but feel like it might not be enough—at least not in the way the industry sees “enough.” That’s where the tension is. It’s not that I’m not learning—it’s that my learning is trapped in a bubble. I want to break out of it. I want to expand my range, prove myself in a different context, and reclaim the excitement of building without limitations. Searching for What’s Next The truth is—I don’t really know where I’m headed right now. I’ve been in web development for years, and while I’ve learned a lot and built real things, I can’t shake the feeling that I landed here by default. Back in college, web dev was what the market wanted. It made sense. So I committed to it—not because it was my passion, but because it was practical. And now, years later, I’m trying to figure out if it’s still what I want. Or if I ever really chose it in the first place. Lately, I’ve been branching out. Playing around with Neovim, Lua, Go—just things that feel different. Not because I’ve decided to become a systems dev or plugin author or tool builder. But because I want to explore. To feel curious again. To remind myself what it’s like to learn something completely new—not because I have to, but because I want to. Underneath all of this is a fear I haven’t fully shaken: What if I lose my job one day? What if I need to move on, and I’m not ready? That fear has been a quiet background noise for a while. And this exploration? It’s my way of pushing back. Of proving to myself that I can still learn. That I’m not stuck. That I’m still evolving. I’m not pivoting. I’m not running. I’m just searching. And that’s okay. Why I’m Writing This I’ve always wanted to try writing in public. Not in a private notebook kind of way—but out loud. Not to build an audience or prove anything—just to reflect, document, and maybe connect. This phase I’m in feels important. Not because it’s polished or resolved—but because it’s real. I want to capture it while I’m still in it. Before the clarity comes—if it ever does. I also love sharing my experience. I always have. And maybe someone out there will read this and feel a little less alone. Or maybe they’ll have been through something similar and have advice to offer. Either way, I think there’s value in just putting this out there. So that’s what

Apr 27, 2025 - 22:02

I’ve Been a Dev for 4 Years and I Feel Stuck

Hey—this post is a bit different. I’m not here to teach something or show off a project. I’m here to document a phase. The in-between phase. The “I’ve grown, but I’m not sure where I’m going” phase.

This is for future me—and maybe for someone else who might be feeling the same.

My Journey So Far

I graduated with a CS degree about 4 years ago, and I’ve been working at the same company ever since. I actually landed the job pretty easily. A friend of mine knew the CEO, recommended me, and after a super simple interview—almost entirely behavioral—I got hired. Just like that.

Thing is, I didn’t even know what role I was being hired for. I assumed they’d just go off my resume where it said “Full Stack Development.” But that’s not exactly what happened.

Instead, I got tossed around into different parts of the company, all under the same umbrella, but each one dealing with something new. First, it was cloud engineering and data engineering—they needed someone to manage our cloud workloads, so that’s where I started. No questions asked.

Then, as the company grew and started needing internal development, I got handed dev tasks. It began with writing automations and small scripts, and over time, it just kept expanding. Eventually, I found myself building actual products. Fast forward a bit, and I’m now technically the head of development. Sounds fancy, but really, I’m leading a small team—one dev and one UI/UX designer.

Throughout all this, I’ve been exposed to a lot. The company gave me space to learn by doing, and by messing up. There were no seniors above me to guide the way—I had to learn everything the hard way, on my own. That part always made me feel a little anxious, like I was constantly guessing. Imagine being fresh out of college and suddenly everyone’s looking to you to figure things out. That’s a lot to carry when you're still learning what a “real job” even feels like.

But somehow, I managed. I figured things out as I went, and over time, I became one of the company’s core people. And yeah, that’s something I’m proud of.

Still, the fact that I’ve only ever worked at this one company on this one long project—it sticks with me. I’ve never really had to go through a serious hiring process, or prove myself in a completely new environment. That thought lingers in the back of my head more often than I’d like.

The Problem

That lingering thought—what if I need to leave someday?—is what’s been messing with me.

Because on paper, my experience looks static. One job, one project, no career switches, no shiny tech stacks. But I know how much I’ve grown. I know what I’ve built. I know how many problems I’ve solved under pressure.

And yet, I can’t help but feel like it might not be enough—at least not in the way the industry sees “enough.”

That’s where the tension is.

It’s not that I’m not learning—it’s that my learning is trapped in a bubble. I want to break out of it. I want to expand my range, prove myself in a different context, and reclaim the excitement of building without limitations.

Searching for What’s Next

The truth is—I don’t really know where I’m headed right now.

I’ve been in web development for years, and while I’ve learned a lot and built real things, I can’t shake the feeling that I landed here by default. Back in college, web dev was what the market wanted. It made sense. So I committed to it—not because it was my passion, but because it was practical.

And now, years later, I’m trying to figure out if it’s still what I want. Or if I ever really chose it in the first place.

Lately, I’ve been branching out. Playing around with Neovim, Lua, Go—just things that feel different. Not because I’ve decided to become a systems dev or plugin author or tool builder. But because I want to explore. To feel curious again. To remind myself what it’s like to learn something completely new—not because I have to, but because I want to.

Underneath all of this is a fear I haven’t fully shaken:

What if I lose my job one day? What if I need to move on, and I’m not ready?

That fear has been a quiet background noise for a while. And this exploration? It’s my way of pushing back. Of proving to myself that I can still learn. That I’m not stuck. That I’m still evolving.

I’m not pivoting. I’m not running. I’m just searching. And that’s okay.

Why I’m Writing This

I’ve always wanted to try writing in public. Not in a private notebook kind of way—but out loud. Not to build an audience or prove anything—just to reflect, document, and maybe connect.

This phase I’m in feels important. Not because it’s polished or resolved—but because it’s real. I want to capture it while I’m still in it. Before the clarity comes—if it ever does.

I also love sharing my experience. I always have. And maybe someone out there will read this and feel a little less alone. Or maybe they’ll have been through something similar and have advice to offer. Either way, I think there’s value in just putting this out there.

So that’s what this is.

What’s Next?

I’m not putting pressure on myself to figure it all out right now.

I’ll keep learning. Keep building. Keep writing things down—however messy or unfinished they feel. That’s really all I can do for now.

And if you’ve been through something similar—or you’re going through it now—I’d genuinely love to hear from you. What helped you? What gave you direction, or peace, or momentum?

Seriously. My DMs are open. Let’s figure this stuff out together.