Leadership Is Less About Control & More About Coaching: The Journey That Transformed My Management Style
While reading leadership books, I thought I had a clear vision of what leading a team would look like. I'd be the visionary making key decisions, providing direction, and steering the ship through stormy waters. I'd have answers. Then I actually became a leader. It took several painful quarters, frustrated team members, and honest feedback sessions to realize a fundamental truth about effective leadership in technology organizations: The moment I stopped providing answers and started asking thoughtful questions was when my team truly began to flourish. ⚙️ The Control Paradox in Technical Leadership In technical environments where precision matters and mistakes can be costly, the instinct to control outcomes is understandable. I felt it too - that constant urge to jump in, correct course, and ensure everything aligned with my vision. But here's what I discovered: the tighter I gripped control, the more I became the bottleneck. Ideas flowed through me rather than from the team. Innovation slowed. Ownership diminished. The paradox revealed itself clearly: by trying to control everything, I controlled less.

While reading leadership books, I thought I had a clear vision of what leading a team would look like. I'd be the visionary making key decisions, providing direction, and steering the ship through stormy waters. I'd have answers.
Then I actually became a leader.
It took several painful quarters, frustrated team members, and honest feedback sessions to realize a fundamental truth about effective leadership in technology organizations:
The moment I stopped providing answers and started asking thoughtful questions was when my team truly began to flourish.
⚙️ The Control Paradox in Technical Leadership
In technical environments where precision matters and mistakes can be costly, the instinct to control outcomes is understandable. I felt it too - that constant urge to jump in, correct course, and ensure everything aligned with my vision.
But here's what I discovered: the tighter I gripped control, the more I became the bottleneck. Ideas flowed through me rather than from the team. Innovation slowed. Ownership diminished.
The paradox revealed itself clearly: by trying to control everything, I controlled less.