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Leadership Is Less About Control & More About Coaching: The Journey That Transformed My Management Style

While reading leadership books, I thought I had a clear vision of what leading a team would look like. I'd be the visionary making key decisions, providing direction, and steering the ship through stormy waters. I'd have answers. Then I actually became a leader. It took several painful quarters, frustrated team members, and honest feedback sessions to realize a fundamental truth about effective leadership in technology organizations: The moment I stopped providing answers and started asking thoughtful questions was when my team truly began to flourish. ⚙️ The Control Paradox in Technical Leadership In technical environments where precision matters and mistakes can be costly, the instinct to control outcomes is understandable. I felt it too - that constant urge to jump in, correct course, and ensure everything aligned with my vision. But here's what I discovered: the tighter I gripped control, the more I became the bottleneck. Ideas flowed through me rather than from the team. Innovation slowed. Ownership diminished. The paradox revealed itself clearly: by trying to control everything, I controlled less.

Apr 9, 2025 - 05:52
 0
Leadership Is Less About Control & More About Coaching: The Journey That Transformed My Management Style

While reading leadership books, I thought I had a clear vision of what leading a team would look like. I'd be the visionary making key decisions, providing direction, and steering the ship through stormy waters. I'd have answers.

Then I actually became a leader.

It took several painful quarters, frustrated team members, and honest feedback sessions to realize a fundamental truth about effective leadership in technology organizations:

The moment I stopped providing answers and started asking thoughtful questions was when my team truly began to flourish.

⚙️ The Control Paradox in Technical Leadership

In technical environments where precision matters and mistakes can be costly, the instinct to control outcomes is understandable. I felt it too - that constant urge to jump in, correct course, and ensure everything aligned with my vision.

But here's what I discovered: the tighter I gripped control, the more I became the bottleneck. Ideas flowed through me rather than from the team. Innovation slowed. Ownership diminished.

The paradox revealed itself clearly: by trying to control everything, I controlled less.

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